Oscar nominated live action/animated shorts make good television

If these live action short titles belonged to TV shows :
"7:35 in the Morning (7:35 de la Manana)" tracks the parallel lives of a young boy from bustling New York City and a young boy from rural Peru. Shown in split screen, this ground breaking show highlights the similarities of the boys' experiences despite divergent backgrounds.
"Two Cars, One Night" is the story of Eddie and Buck, small-time car thieves and childhood pals working the streets of Los Angeles one car at a time.
In this day and age, terrorists are at the forefront of our fears. The thriller "Little Terrorist" boldly asks the questions "where do terrorists come from?" and "what makes a terrorist?" Set in the imaginary suburb of Lockwood, the drama tracks a community of high school students, parents, siblings and teachers that will, one day, produce a terrorist.
"Wasp" follows young African American Antwon Hill as he navigates the complex and occasionally backward social environment of elite New Hampshire boarding school, St. Bart's. Born in the slums of Newark, Antwon receives a scholarship to St. Bart's because of his stellar test scores and his sweet jump shot, which school administrators hope will lead the St. Bart Wasps to a championship season. As the year progresses Antwon must face the pressures from home and school and grapple with his place in both worlds.
"Everything in this Country Must" is a brand new reality show that engages entire communities in zany antics. P.S. 134 in Miami needs a new track. They can have it, just so long as they paint their entire school red in 24 hours. Everything in this Country Must... Be Red!The town of Milo, LA., population 214, could use 500,000 dollars to revive flagging farms. They can have it, just so long as they eat everything edible in the entire town. Everything in this Country Must... Be Eaten! Tune in every week as "Everything Must" brings communities together for good, and watchable, times!
“Birthday Boy” is a reality show that follows professional party clown David Friedman as he treats Manhattan children to a whimsical balloon and slapstick show.
“Gopher Broke.” Steve Gopher is about to be 35. His wife has left him, his 4 year old doesn’t remember his name, and he’s stuck pushing paper at a pharmaceutical company. The only thing that brings him any joy is the morning crossword puzzle. On the way to work, the crossword puzzle answers line up to say “First America Bank Ten Morning,” and Steve can’t shake the feeling he’s got to be there. Low and behold, at 10 a.m. Steve stops by First America just in time to become involved in a bank robbery. And thus begin Steve’s adventures, robbing banks across the country with the help of his trusty crossword puzzle, gophering for broke.
“Guard Dog.” Learn the secrets of the Giamboni crime family through the eyes of trusted family Doberman pinscher, Sal.
“Lorenzo.” Watch former cable star Lorenzo Llamas jump start his career by recording an album, appearing in Playgirl, and launching a new cologne.
“Ryan” is a show starring Ryan.

Drooling from Percocet

Demi Moore is a Roberts? Scroll all the way down.
Ok, apparently this isn't true anymore and has been taken off IMDB. This leads me to wonder, even more than usual, about how IMDB works, and if they're are little human coders typing in all the latest gossip.

Strawberry banana juice

I’ve started working at the hamburger shack. It’s not really a shack- it’s actually pretty nice, but I need to beat everyone else to the belittling punch I imagine is lurking, so that’s what I call it.
I have to wear a chef’s jacket. And on the dominating level I don’t care about all this- a job is a job is a job and this is not even my primary, but my tertiary money making scheme- but on the submerged level, the snotty, classist (racist?), spoiled level I think wearing a chef’s jacket and doing counter service is demeaning. I never felt that way about waitressing, so this must be a reflection on how I think about counter service people as opposed to waiters and waitresses. But in trying to gather my feelings on counter people I’ve encountered I don’t have any conscious thoughts or generalizations stored about them.
Mostly it’s the uniform in conjunction with the counter that heebiejeebs me. Uniform-less counter service would sit much better with me.
People use tip jars much more frequently than I’d supposed.
Yesterday, I asked a man on his way out how the food was, and he replied, “Well, actually, the portions were way too small for the price, I really didn’t like it.” Sigh. I know that I asked, but just nod or smile or something. Some might argue that an honest answer is acceptable, or even just, in such a circumstance, but those people are wrong. In fact, they’re the kind of rude, pushy people who answer questions like that in the first place and so, by a wicked tautology, can never understand why they’re wrong. It’s one thing to complain in a way that might make your meal better (“this is too salty,” ”too over-cooked”) and another just to, like, register your complaint with people who are only trying to be polite.
The hovering owner, who drinks about 10 cups of coffee a day and constantly has a cigar in his mouth, heard and said, ‘What was that?” and tried to engage the guy about the whole thing, hoping to convince him he was wrong, which is totally futile, but entirely in keeping with his pushy, puppyish, smarmy sales style.
There’s another guy who keeps coming in, and every time he complains about how the neighborhood has been entirely gentrified and it’s a shame, a travesty. Yesterday he got two gelati, one for himself and one for his dog.

Jelly in my belly

Conveniently there is a Dunkin' Donuts on 23rd and 5th and another on 23rd and Lex. This means work is the apex of an isoceles triangle with said DDs as other points. I'm in the mood for a chocolate frosted, but the sky looks like it's about to open up so I will wait.
Is there anything good about office politics? They're like pimples: unavoidable, ugly, distracting, entertaining at times, but mostly just a pain in the ass (not literally, though maybe for some).
Judd from the "Real World: San Francisco" is creating a show for the Cartoon Network, "The Life and Times of Juniper Lee." He's married and he wears a silver choker. Hard enough to forgive 16-year olds the choker look, harder still when it's a 35-year old man. Pam the invisible doctor shouldn't let him out of the house with that thing on. Since his time on the RW, Judd doesn't appear to have become any less toolish. Juniper Lee is a 11-year old Asian girl who "fights monsters, but really just wants to have a normal life." Hello "Buffy", "Alias," every other girl action hero drama to date. Given that the other new shows on the Cartoon Network pitch something like, 7th grader attends middle school for animals, and monkey gets stuck at summer camp, and living race cars beat each other up in anime, Judd's show seems even more tired. And it kind of looks like "Lilo & Stitch," which is neither insult or compliment, just observation.

Poison paradise

Boy on the subway today who sounded exactly like Rainman ("How do you say six in Spanish? Who is the conductor?). I wanted to hit him in the face. Oy, I'm a bad person. But he wasn't actually autistic, he just sounded like Dustin Hoffman and was about the same height.
Other annoying things today include Norman Mailer's "voice" in "Miami and The Siege of Chicago." He insists upon referring to himself as "the reporter," like "The reporter had begun to drink for the first time in several days" and "The reporter had decided by Thursday morning that Nixon could only nominate a moderate from the South or a Conservative from the North." The only reason to use this annoying tick is maybe a misguided hope that the reader will be less critical of "the reporter" going on page long riffs of bloated, bullshit prose than they'd be of Mailer, because they've forgotten the reporter is Mailer in the confusion of processing all those poopy words. So instead of thinking, "Ahhh! Norman Mailer is such a wordy, full of shit bastard" and tossing the book across the room, maybe you think, "Jeez, how could Mailer stand to listen to this dipshit?"
Steve McQueen as news anchor. Discuss.
I didn't watch the Grammy's because I watch Desperate Housewives (which is totally going to have a couple stay together in a rejuvenated marriage because they have embraced S&M. This blows my mind) and because I dislike both Usher and Alicia Keyes and there's something about the shape of Kanye's face (gallon milk jug?) that surprises and upsets me every time I see him. But Britney won a Grammy for "Toxic" and this pleases me in not quite a happy or fascinated way, but in a this-is-the-penultimate-scene-in your-Behind-the-Music way, followed by a montage of your kids on a pony(or on trial).

My name is Fred (yay!)

Now that the second to last Project Runway has aired and we all know Austin is "Out," I've had to re-think my experience of the final fashion show. All four of the finalists had a show, so word wouldn't get out about who the 3 finalists were. In retrospect, having all four go makes a lot more sense given Wendy being in the final 3 really is a suprise and Austin wouldn't have been. But at the time of the show (a week last Friday) I just assumed Wendy was out because she's such a sucker ass bitch and Michael Kors spent her entire show reading the program. Plus, after Austin came down the runway, Heidi Klum turned to Kors and said "I Love Austin" in her excited, not really German, way. The other factors that threw me off were that Austin's line was, obviously, better, but also obviously much, much more expensive than Wendy's. I just couldn't imagine Project Runway footing the bill for an entire extra line they were never going to use on camera at the same cost as the other 3 lines they needed. But, I guess they did.
What I am excited about is that you'll all get to witness Wendy being even more shameless about her daughter than usual: see her introduce her line saying, "someone told me just to say I'm a mom from" wherever the fuck she's from, and then carry her daughter down the runway after the show, while the kid buries her head and looks like she's going to piss herself. Though she was really cute. And hopefully, we also have Wendy's total evisceration from the judges to look forward to, because as one onlooker said to another, "It's too bad her clothes are so bad."

Heroin as the great motivator

Does anybody die from drugs anymore? Or do they just write books?

Off with your head

Off with your head, originally uploaded by willabeast.

What's freakiest about this photo, beyond the floating crown and how he's about to take over a planet in the Star Wars galaxies and it's coming to you live, over satcom, is that Channel Nepal uses the same font as Chanel, and I thought the coronation was being sponsered by the label for a hot minute.

Super Grover, originally uploaded by willabeast.