Willabeast

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60919122011-09-04T03:46:57.564-04:00WillabeastPull the plankWillabeastnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1561100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-5832627254059931272007-03-14T18:40:00.000-04:002007-03-14T19:05:06.716-04:00Someone's salary

If you can't make out the copy on the bus stop in this volkswagon ad, it says, "5-cylinder engine, integrated MP3 audio jack and 6-speaker sound sysetm. It's a sign things just might be turning around." And, yup, that's a homeless guy who's stuffed his "The End Is Near" sign into the garbage can, his notion rendered trash because cars this awesome only cost $17,000 dollars! Maybe everything about

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-18165692974432691722007-02-28T14:51:00.000-05:002007-02-28T14:55:55.057-05:00A stupid question

From 3/1/07 issue of Time Out NY: "Where can I find a bar that uses Schweppes minibottles in their gin and tonics? I hate the tatse of soda from a gun." Arhem. Schweppes. Minibottles. Boo.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-61334631987765342412007-02-20T15:59:00.000-05:002007-02-20T16:00:35.806-05:00I still recognize you

Nice try, Prune Juice!

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-90214575070154804282007-02-15T12:51:00.000-05:002007-02-15T13:20:06.907-05:00Fun Stuff

I watched Todd Haynes' Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story the other night. The resolution is terrible, but still worth watching. Apparently back in 1987, when he made the film, people didn't know a whole lot about anorexia.Also watched Heil Honey I'm Home! a really un-funny, albeit fascinating, sitcom about Hitler and Eva Braun living next door to a Jewish family in late '30s Berlin. It's a

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-41085734725980456942007-01-22T16:06:00.000-05:002007-01-22T17:06:16.929-05:00Don't call it a backlash

Angelina Jolie's appearance at the Globes may have pissed some people off, but having seen the offending interview between Jolie and Ryan Seacrest I don't think the response can appropriately be termed a "backlash." Caryn James' description of Jolie's demeanor on the carpet is inaccurate. Seacrest's "questions were drivel" James writes, "but that was no reason to sneer the words “Cereal, we made

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-31904967225124947452007-01-22T15:27:00.000-05:002007-01-22T15:46:54.988-05:00"The Executioner's Song, then, was to be a novel of the West"

Spotting a kindred spirit, J Diddy comes to Norman Mailer's defense, 28 years ago. "I think no one but Mailer could have dared this book. The authentic Western voice, the one heard in The Executioner's Song, is one heard often in life but only rarely in literature, the reason being that to truly know the West is to lack all will to write it down," she opines in classic, moody fashion, that's also

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-77893336423809481102007-01-19T15:23:00.000-05:002007-01-19T15:40:19.180-05:00Three makes a trend

I don't know what to make of sex-change operations as the new plot-point. Hard to imagine that "America" approves, but maybe it's so new the haters have gotten organized yet. You know soap opera writers are psyched-- someone's always been saying, "this would work if Montana Moorehead was a man," and now everyone can agree.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-49476909756332605902007-01-10T17:11:00.000-05:002007-01-10T17:16:18.100-05:00.1'' from complaining about the cold

When I saw this today, I wondered, why is there ash in the air? Then I remembered that other kinds of flakes come out of the sky in New York City from time to time.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-55564814316671484612007-01-10T16:58:00.000-05:002007-01-10T17:03:16.911-05:00Separated at birth, joined at the plastic surgeons

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1156970922289688822006-08-30T16:46:00.000-04:002006-08-31T16:42:35.706-04:00Some girls are bigger than others

This is the picture promoting Rachel Ray's new show. Saw it on the subway. Mwah-hahahaha. It makes no sense, but it is hilarious.Though "Ring the Alarm" is kind of just the girl version of "99 Problems," this video is pretty balls out. And just gets better and better. She totally practiced the twitchy eye moves in front of the mirror. Awesome.Saw an add for Justin Timberlake's new album that was

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1156887318684735282006-08-29T16:51:00.000-04:002006-08-29T17:35:19.473-04:00Wet

Rainy rainy rain has rendered my flip-flops smelly. I should stop wearing them. The rain has also made them gritty with swirling, smushed, bacteria infested, city dirt. But I'm not ready to give in to socks, and autumn, just yet. Though the fall is looming pretty unstoppably today. I had to attend an orientation this morning, thankfully, not for myself. Orientations are like alligators-- you get

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1156795631164151262006-08-28T16:06:00.000-04:002006-08-28T16:07:11.380-04:00Three shots in the same direction

Mash-up, in which I fail to create a coherent thought blanket on the subject of aesthetic point of view using the following materials, Aaron Sorkin, Nicole Krauss, Jonathan Safran Foer, Project Runway, and Diane “I’ve worn some” Von “pants in my day” Furstenberg.1) Defending Uli I was talking to some friends about Project Runway and verbalized my love for Uli. One of my friends, with a “bitch,

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1150607753205333732006-06-18T00:45:00.001-04:002006-06-18T01:15:53.240-04:00Short ramble ramble

For the past few months I've been wanting to make a mix of songs that contain indeterminate pronouns in their title. Like "I Want It That Way," "I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)," "You Will When You Believe," etc etc. I need help. I am allergic to cats.Thoughts on the city of Chicago: I'm having some trouble formulating. I think this is ultimately where it's going: I really like

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1150388619810484222006-06-15T12:22:00.000-04:002006-06-15T12:23:39.826-04:00Pauses in vehicular motion- II

Steve is looking for a new apartment so we went to see a place yesterday at noon. It was on the outskirts of Pittsburgh (so far as I can tell) and in a quiet complex full of older, two-story brick apartment buildings that look like they should have courtyards, but don’t. Real Estate Agent Dean was showing Steve the apartment for the second time—they’d been by to see it the day before, but the

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1150293838468895612006-06-14T09:53:00.000-04:002006-06-14T10:05:14.056-04:00Pauses in vehicular motion- I

Driving to Pittsburgh yesterday I stopped at the Midway Diner, which overlooks I-78 in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania. The exit consisted of two gas stations, the diner, and a Comfort Inn, the last two sharing an oddly vast parking lot. At the gas station it became apparent that the entire place smelled like rotting manure, a sickly, sweet smell that makes you check the bottom of your shoes

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1148510460051504882006-05-24T18:38:00.000-04:002006-05-24T18:41:00.063-04:00Hurley has a band

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1147797690525780002006-05-16T12:37:00.000-04:002006-05-16T12:41:30.540-04:00Office blues

Oh, how easy it is to forget about offices. How easy to forget the constant desk-based negotiations between web-surfing and writing, or rather, obviously doing something other than work, or subtlely doing something other than work. But, of course, in both cases not having any actual work to do. If you’re typing, in an innocuous word document say, it must be work, even when it’s categorically not.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1147728536663364692006-05-15T17:21:00.000-04:002006-05-15T17:29:42.863-04:00Meese

There’s a mouse in my house. It was spotted yesterday evening three times, which means, on the plus side, it’s probably the first one that’s decided to hang out, or we would have seen it before. On the minus side, it also means it was probably stuck and didn’t know how to leave. I’ve had lots of run-ins with mice in my day, and they don’t overly upset me (I don’t get on a chair and holler when I

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1147557478196967412006-05-13T17:57:00.000-04:002006-05-13T20:51:26.796-04:00Works in progress

Click on any of the tags- photos and sums are attached

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1147443675992406872006-05-12T10:18:00.000-04:002006-05-12T10:24:22.423-04:00Destined to confound future generations of archeologists

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } coke_blak1, originally uploaded by willabeast. Does this seem like an ideal product for the French to you? It was released there in January, now in America. It skeeves me out. I'm sure this name has been market tested many,

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1147359965980540922006-05-11T10:48:00.000-04:002006-05-13T17:04:18.353-04:00And if was the last episode ever? Wtf

What do we think about smoking while half submerged in a manhole? It’s a bad idea right? Especially if you work for Con-Ed and there’s the truck sitting right next to you and a bunch of wires are running from it down into the hole. Definitively, wires and manholes and cigarettes are a bad combo, but smoking while half submerged in a manhole full of wires is exactly what one mustachioed Con-Ed

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1147143296421987942006-05-08T22:53:00.000-04:002006-05-08T22:54:56.436-04:00toenail teeth

At dinner tonight I realized I was only wearing one earring and got bummed that I’d lost the other somewhere on Houston Street. I just got home and found it on my desk. Which means I’d only put one on before walking out of the house this afternoon. I also forgot my cell phone and had to come back upstairs to get it. All this because I had just woken up from a highly unnecessary nap, motivated

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1146849934047788482006-05-05T13:25:00.000-04:002006-05-05T13:25:34.063-04:00Abusing close reading skills

So last night on The OC the writers deployed their, at this point, very old meta-joke about The Valley. In the world of The OC, The Valley is the OC, the TV show all the kids on The OC watch that’s freakishly similar to The OC. So last night a random character was on the phone with her dad, allegedly a writer for The Valley, and she was all, “Well dad what did you expect to happen to the ratings

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1144198825090709412006-04-04T20:52:00.000-04:002006-04-04T21:00:25.090-04:00Big homo love

Also, I think maybe Big Love is about gay marriage. It's been created by two gay men and I bet they were sitting around one day, getting so pissed off that no one will let them get married, and then they started riffing on the idea that marriage can only be between a man and a woman. Like, "If marriage between a man and a woman is so amazingly awesome and superior, why wouldn't a man want to

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1144197492296771462006-04-04T20:28:00.000-04:002006-04-04T20:38:12.310-04:00No-no-NoTORIous

I watched So Notorious for the first time last night, and it occurred to me, among other things, that Donna Martin is 90210’s most lasting character. If you watch the Brenda years (which are playing daily on Soapnet, my crack channel, for the next few weeks), you’ll be reminded of how highly improbable that is. For the first two years of 90210, up until the summer Donna and David performed a

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1144177654351661292006-04-04T14:52:00.000-04:002006-04-04T15:07:34.386-04:00Really Rosie

This Rosie O'Donnell profile in New York is pretty great. Or pretty great at reminding me that I really liked The Rosie O'Donnell Show, and for good reason. Plus, a Star Jones takedown: "Here’s what annoys me about Star Jones. As a former fatty, she has an obligation to her tribe. She pretends that she was never one of us. And she pushed away a plate of Oreos with Joy [Behar, co-host of The View]

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1141684542344742082006-03-06T16:26:00.000-05:002006-03-06T17:40:36.913-05:00The forgettable Hilary Swank

So the big conclusion I'm drawing from last nights Academy Awards is that there are currently no actual female movie stars, under 40, in all of Hollywood. The exception to this being, of course, Julia Roberts who's on a Hollywood time out, and perhaps Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon, though the former is probably too icy, the latter probably too Debbie Reynolds, to stand the test of time.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1129600926546709722005-10-17T22:02:00.000-04:002005-10-17T22:02:06.550-04:00But not anymore

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1129600906099314462005-10-17T22:01:00.001-04:002005-10-17T22:01:46.103-04:00My door was better than your door

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1129140777177253122005-10-12T14:07:00.000-04:002005-10-12T14:12:57.183-04:00Like shooting fish in a barrell

but I can't restrain myself."Kill Me So Much" by Amber Tamblyn (aka Joan of Arcadia)The War has started,the blood flags are raised high for us to see.Die! Die! we all crywith our stubborn cannons blowing off, and our noses like dead poodlesarriving on a nightmare,praying for a dream.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1120771046306258692005-07-07T17:15:00.000-04:002005-07-07T17:25:16.136-04:00God is not on your side

Movie premieres are always about to be a disaster. Publicists, photographers, reporters all run around in a state of panic, screaming that they didn’t get the shot, the quote, the coverage they absolutely, one hundred percent, life or death need. But despite all these histrionics, events usually go off well enough. After all the bitching and complaining everyone uses what they got, and chats all

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1120597921327510372005-07-05T17:10:00.000-04:002005-07-05T17:12:01.333-04:00Smart start

So if you had to pick a movie to watch on the subway on your way to work how far down on the list would be “Constantine?” Or, in non-leading question format, where on your list would be “Constantine”? He wouldn’t make my list. Watching that before work seems like waking up and drinking a can of Coke before you brush your teeth. Or, in other words, not a healthy way to start the day. Keanu Reeves

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1119908647166982672005-06-27T17:39:00.000-04:002005-06-27T17:44:07.173-04:00More TK (not on this topic)

So, it's been over a month.I want to go on record saying I never saw another episode of “Chaotic” and stopped even wishing I had after the 2nd one. Watching one was worth it though.I don’t want to overstate here, and I don’t want to keep talking about this, so I’m going to very vaguely flesh out this thoughtlet, disavow responsibility, and have that be that. It goes something like- the rise of

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1116391894739863572005-05-18T00:35:00.000-04:002005-10-21T12:11:08.496-04:00Appointment viewing

I have never, despite her inability to put together an entire sentence or turn down anything hot pink and pleather, disliked Britney Spears. Whatever you want to say about her, she’s totally fascinating, from the larger mysteries, about what she represents, to how she could represent anything at all, down to the details. I still can’t quite figure out how her mouth is moving in the “Hit Me Baby

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1116262835322884132005-05-16T12:59:00.000-04:002005-05-16T13:54:25.666-04:00Restraint

I premise this post by saying this blog’s new tagline should be, all verbal diarrhea, all the time. But that’s gross. Though I’ve argued before that if, say, you were an alien, watching someone eat would be as disgusting as watching them shit (see that eggs and beans scene in “Layercake,” a totally avoidable movie, if you don’t just instinctually understand me) except that food smells better than

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1114716005173724882005-04-28T15:20:00.000-04:002005-04-28T15:20:05.173-04:00Tweedle Dee

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Tweedle Dee, originally uploaded by willabeast. So I consider myself to be a pop culture fluent person. But I am having a hard time understanding how this Aaron Carter person took a year off...

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1114715167064615042005-04-28T15:06:00.000-04:002005-04-28T15:15:07.653-04:00Tweedle Dum

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Tweedle Dum, originally uploaded by willabeast. and then started working on a TV show as this Jesse McCartney person, without changing one thing about his appearance, and NOBODY NOTICED.I want to be kidding, but looking at

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1114103608294246282005-04-21T13:04:00.000-04:002005-04-21T13:13:28.296-04:00Tonya is a doomed spelling

This past weekend I got a chance to spend some quality time with my MTV, and, more specifically, the new Real World/ Road Rules Challenge, The Inferno II: Bad Asses vs. Good Guys. Beyond the core entertainment value (which is very, very high. As is always the case when a disgruntled girlfriend says, "If I was a guy and you stuck your vagina in my face I'd fuck you too," totally seriously. And is

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1112936289918750092005-04-08T00:58:00.000-04:002005-04-08T10:35:38.026-04:00Catfights make good copy

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } , originally uploaded by willabeast. You must go read this article right now. It is as good as watching an episode of Desperate Housewives. No, it's even better. It's the best things about scripted and reality television

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1111789982099145022005-03-25T17:25:00.000-05:002005-03-25T17:33:02.100-05:00Why Raymond Chandler is better than you

From The Big Sleep:-I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn’t care who knew it-I work at it lady. I don’t play at it-Shake your business up and pour it.-The general spoke again, slowly, using his strength as carefully as an out-of work showgirl uses her last good pair of stockings.-Neither of the two people in the room paid any attention to how I came in, although only one of them was

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1111618203727673852005-03-23T17:50:00.000-05:002005-03-23T17:52:20.953-05:00Brad Diggler

Things wrong with this poster1) Steve Zahn is not a nerdy 14-year old2) Steve Zahn is wearing a flesh colored t-shirt3) Steve Zahn is further forward than Penelope Cruz4) The cargo pants. Should not exist. Especially in triplicate.5) Not included in the poster, but also wrong, Matthew McConaughey plays a man named Dirk Pitt6) Pitt is an agent of NUMA, the National Underwater Marine Agency,

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1111526408217959872005-03-22T16:12:00.000-05:002005-03-22T16:25:48.293-05:00Ferris Bueller plays the clarinet too

I've started considering blogging all the events I go to for work, but I'm a) not sure that's allowed, either by work or whoever's in charge of the events, and b) I can't quite figure out the right tone. Because on the one hand, it's pretty fun I get to go to these things, but on the other they are so, so silly, and a waste of money, a waste of time, and not really all that fun while I'm actually

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1111525935851970532005-03-22T14:26:00.000-05:002005-03-22T16:12:15.853-05:00Her name was Lola

There are show girls in the building. Seriously, there are two women here promoting Casino and Gaming TV, a cable net, decked out in full-body, bright pink, Vegas show girl outfits, complete with fishnets, feathers, and cleavage. In the swag bags they're handing out are a pair of big dice, fake eyelashes, fire-engine red lipstick, a glass, a t-shirt, some bizarre fluid called shoe stretch, shoe

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1111163572847511352005-03-18T10:55:00.000-05:002005-03-18T11:32:52.853-05:00How to lose your job in Hollywood

1) Saying things every one knows to be true*:- The Grudge "takes our client Sarah Michelle Gellar, who now is nothing at all, and it makes her a star, potentially. Suddenly the Sarah Michelle Gellar space is meaningful."- Halle Berry "will give up a little money to get a good director or co-star- thereby essentially buying insurance for her career, which needs burnishing after "Catwoman."2) While

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1110998276426723342005-03-16T13:35:00.000-05:002005-03-16T13:37:56.426-05:00Hotnett

Mozart and the Whale: love story between two savants with Asperger's syndrome, a kind of autism, whose disabilites sabotage their budding relationship.Starring Josh Hartnett.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1110397284857626472005-03-09T14:08:00.000-05:002005-03-10T11:39:54.376-05:00Not Stone Temple Pilots

Got up early this morning to go to Nickelodeon's upfront, which is a TV/cable staple where networks reveal their shows for the upcoming season. So at 8:45 in the a.m., after watching a man wipe-out on the ice, I show up with 700 other people at a Roseland tricked out to look like a middle-school cafeteria. Complete with women wearing blue aprons and hairnets, lunch ladies, handing out donuts and

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1110392894486708802005-03-09T13:24:00.000-05:002005-03-09T13:28:14.486-05:00I'd like to thank all the little people

Omigod! I am so the one writing this article (all the way down to "Side Dish). I guess when you deal with gossips they, well, gossip.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1110232953148033512005-03-07T16:36:00.000-05:002005-03-07T17:02:33.150-05:00It's springing

outside and it's made everyone feisty. I just witnessed two screaming matches in a 20 minute stroll down 23rd street. The first took place in the library between a dirty man and a librarian, and then another librarian, and then a security guard. The screamer kept asking if they worked for Ms. Kent and threatening to call his congressmen. And then the librarian said she felt sexually harassed. And

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1109960520564803332005-03-04T12:48:00.000-05:002005-03-04T13:22:00.566-05:00My sister dreamed she was being chased by giant fish-sticks or Self-Indulgence

I had a dream last night that I had to go back to high school because they'd added another year to our curriculum. I argued to my dean, "We graduated, you let us graduate, I'm doing other things now, I don't live here, I haven't been going to class, you can't expect me to do this again!" and he was just like, "Sorry. Calculus is meeting across the hall."I had a similar dream a couple months

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1109718250857198652005-03-01T17:30:00.000-05:002005-03-01T18:04:10.860-05:00Non-English words mean something too

I've been having a bad run with authority figures lately. I got "not hired" at the Hamburger Shack, which is totally funny and a little expected. I really didn't like the manager and usually those things are reciprocal. He was fake nice. He was very easily embarrassed, but obviously angry when he got to that state. If you asked a question he didn't know the answer to he'd be overly apologetic and

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1109188386894386402005-02-23T14:52:00.000-05:002005-02-23T18:30:55.346-05:00Oscar nominated live action/animated shorts make good television

If these live action short titles belonged to TV shows :"7:35 in the Morning (7:35 de la Manana)" tracks the parallel lives of a young boy from bustling New York City and a young boy from rural Peru. Shown in split screen, this ground breaking show highlights the similarities of the boys' experiences despite divergent backgrounds."Two Cars, One Night" is the story of Eddie and Buck, small-time

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1109183580821669412005-02-23T13:30:00.000-05:002005-03-01T17:30:03.053-05:00Drooling from Percocet

Demi Moore is a Roberts? Scroll all the way down.Ok, apparently this isn't true anymore and has been taken off IMDB. This leads me to wonder, even more than usual, about how IMDB works, and if they're are little human coders typing in all the latest gossip.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1109019076972456382005-02-21T15:45:00.000-05:002005-02-22T17:35:27.150-05:00Strawberry banana juice

I’ve started working at the hamburger shack. It’s not really a shack- it’s actually pretty nice, but I need to beat everyone else to the belittling punch I imagine is lurking, so that’s what I call it.I have to wear a chef’s jacket. And on the dominating level I don’t care about all this- a job is a job is a job and this is not even my primary, but my tertiary money making scheme- but on the

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1108585044019878132005-02-16T14:50:00.000-05:002005-02-16T15:17:24.020-05:00Jelly in my belly

Conveniently there is a Dunkin' Donuts on 23rd and 5th and another on 23rd and Lex. This means work is the apex of an isoceles triangle with said DDs as other points. I'm in the mood for a chocolate frosted, but the sky looks like it's about to open up so I will wait.Is there anything good about office politics? They're like pimples: unavoidable, ugly, distracting, entertaining at times, but

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1108500909250029932005-02-15T15:25:00.000-05:002005-02-15T15:55:09.263-05:00Poison paradise

Boy on the subway today who sounded exactly like Rainman ("How do you say six in Spanish? Who is the conductor?). I wanted to hit him in the face. Oy, I'm a bad person. But he wasn't actually autistic, he just sounded like Dustin Hoffman and was about the same height.Other annoying things today include Norman Mailer's "voice" in "Miami and The Siege of Chicago." He insists upon referring to

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1108254009713595522005-02-12T19:08:00.000-05:002005-02-25T12:38:44.446-05:00My name is Fred (yay!)

Now that the second to last Project Runway has aired and we all know Austin is "Out," I've had to re-think my experience of the final fashion show. All four of the finalists had a show, so word wouldn't get out about who the 3 finalists were. In retrospect, having all four go makes a lot more sense given Wendy being in the final 3 really is a suprise and Austin wouldn't have been. But at the time

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1107815844679393402005-02-07T15:14:00.000-05:002005-02-07T17:37:24.680-05:00Heroin as the great motivator

Does anybody die from drugs anymore? Or do they just write books?

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1107298321225619092005-02-01T17:52:00.000-05:002005-02-02T16:14:27.586-05:00Off with your head

Off with your head, originally uploaded by willabeast.What's freakiest about this photo, beyond the floating crown and how he's about to take over a planet in the Star Wars galaxies and it's coming to you live, over satcom, is that Channel Nepal uses the same font as Chanel, and I thought the coronation was being sponsered by the label for a hot minute.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1107296715900111002005-02-01T17:25:00.000-05:002005-02-01T17:26:10.163-05:00

Super Grover, originally uploaded by willabeast.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1107207596354180262005-01-31T16:17:00.000-05:002005-01-31T16:42:33.930-05:00Bulls on parade

I'm getting a second job. As it becomes clearer and clearer that this is going to involve me serving hungry hipsters at an upscale fast-food joint that specializes in variations on the hamburger (free range chicken breast, chopped sirloin, filet mignon sandwich) I'd like to tell you about a job I'd rather have instead: pasting rose petals on enormous piñata-like bull sculpture. There was one of

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1106593960202292202005-01-24T13:39:00.000-05:002005-01-24T14:12:40.203-05:00I honestly thought she'd punched him in the stomach

I woke up this morning and there was no hot water. There's a skylight in my bathroom and when the wind blows, tiny slivers of snow drift down and sprinkle you as you're brushing your teeth. I'm sure not having hot water is somehow related (inversely proportional) to the cold outside, but needing hot water is also somehow related (inversely proportional) to how cold it is outside. Which is to say,

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1105481825533860852005-01-11T17:09:00.000-05:002005-01-12T13:19:06.386-05:00Duvet covers are not just for metrosexuals

Because I don't have cable and sometimes the remote control doesn't work I've been watching commercials more than usual lately. As a result I caught Amaya chomping on a Whopper disguised by her brown hair. I think. I also had time to ponder the resurgence of the big, bouncy, red ball. You think Ford (is it Ford? It's some SUV company, with the E in Explorer gone red) is psyched that they have the

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1104788895321473142005-01-03T15:57:00.000-05:002005-01-03T16:48:15.323-05:00G Chord

I think I was meditating in the car yesterday. Sometime in Pennsylvania on I-95, waiting to cross over into New Jersey, 10 minutes passed that I can not get back. And then I missed my exit. Car trips always feel fine while you're in the car, and then you get out for coffee or bathroom and your eyes are wirey and seeing everything too clearly and you just want to run laps around the royrogers/

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1104359775647647812004-12-29T16:13:00.000-05:002004-12-29T17:36:15.646-05:00Chaps anyone?

No one should have to work this week. But here I am, at work, most definitely not working. Quick run down on events occurring around me in slow motion. 1) Steady dwindling of chocolate covered pretzel supply. We got a ridiculous (last week's Times discussed "the year in words" and ridonkulous, in about 20 spellings, including ridinkulous, which uh, not quite, made the list, along with backdoor

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1103824755943093592004-12-23T13:50:00.000-05:002004-12-23T14:19:10.340-05:00My 9 Best of 2004 List

9) The F train. Is like your first car. It doesn’t matter how beat up it gets (very), you still have irrational love. You name it (Kermit) and you call it dependable even when it breaks down every other day. This is the F train. The F train is also like a (my) freshman dorm. It’s totally acceptable, lots of fun even, and you don’t think you’re getting a bum deal on a day to day basis. Until you

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1103742628002361462004-12-22T13:38:00.000-05:002004-12-22T14:10:28.003-05:00Durand Durand

Last night I watched Barbarella. I don't think I fully understood the meaning of camp before then. Jane Fonda's so straightforward, grounded even when rolling around naked in fur rugs and space suits and shtooping angels. She can't quite manage to be dumb, even when uttering the dumbest lines. She's always in on the joke. But I was thinking about a remake. Mind you, there is absolutely no reason

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1103650734405980992004-12-21T13:38:00.000-05:002004-12-21T12:38:54.406-05:00Holiday cheer

I don’t know why I get surprised about other people’s lack of manners. I have no manners. But sometimes, I’m surprised. Went to see Life Aquatic at the Sony on 68th Street, which is the craziest theater in all the land (I heard somewhere it was the busiest/ highest grossing Cineplex in America.) 2:00 on a Sunday, the show was sold out, and my sister and I got there at like 1:55. We’re looking for

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1103141480055031952004-12-15T14:10:00.000-05:002004-12-15T15:11:20.056-05:00Booyakasha

I've been thinking about The Gilmore Girls. Time Out and TV Guide both ran brownnosing articles this past week, a month or so after all the press related to the Norman Mailer appearance, foremost of which was the Slate article that called GG the most 'bookish,' in a good way, show on TV. The Time Out article posited that it's not super gay to like GG if you're a boy, so don't be embarrassed to '

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1102010233261885652004-12-02T13:47:00.000-05:002004-12-03T19:27:05.573-05:00Allison looks divine

There's an ad on subway for The Children's Place that's a close-up of a blonde tyke in a blue, white-flecked sweater making a scrunchy face. The small type above the ad reads, "Jimmy looks hot in his 100% wool, shetland snowboarding sweater..." Jimmy doesn't look hot. Because Jimmy looks 9 years old. Maybe there are people out there who think hot is an appropriate, or cute, adjective to apply to

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1101235801423591672004-11-23T13:47:00.000-05:002004-11-23T13:50:01.423-05:00City kids suck

It’s been a crazy couple of days, I saw the new MoMA, went to an incredibly extravagant premiere party for the ideologically unsound “Christmas with the Kranks,” wandered in on a HEEB release party that left me entirely unbalanced, and spotted a Hasidic Jew having a cocktail. Not at the Heeb party. Pondering the inner-life of Hasidic Jews and their feelings about the dominant culture takes up

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1101235024243764912004-11-23T13:35:00.000-05:002004-11-23T14:12:17.796-05:00For Felicity fans

There's a new spot on Stanton and Allen called Epstein's Bar.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1101234873794734972004-11-23T13:25:00.000-05:002004-11-23T13:34:33.793-05:00I've said all this on the phone. My B.

In studying for the GRE I've come across lots of words I don't know and lots of words I only thought I knew: Peruse: to examine with care. Cleave: 1) to split 2) to adhere, cling, or stick fast. How can a word mean one thing and that thing's opposite? (There's probably a word that means just that). Or really, how can such a word appear in an analogy? Since you would then be able to make two

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1099950496137446252004-11-08T14:16:00.000-05:002005-01-10T16:54:12.863-05:00Movies

EW's Holiday Movie guide came out this past week and there are 15 movies coming out between now and New Years that I want to see (there are now 18 movies on the list, but I won't see Alexander or The Sea Inside, for which I've subbed The Woodsman, Spanglish, and Million Dollar Baby. And Life Aquatic. How did I skip Life Aquatic?). 15 movies is $153.75. That's more than I've spent on groceries for

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1099674040370276392004-11-05T13:00:00.000-05:002004-11-05T16:13:35.673-05:00Fat bunny

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1099497434428350312004-11-03T10:40:00.000-05:002004-11-03T10:57:14.426-05:00No joke, but not funny

At this point I am really, profoundly, bodily, and spiritually in need of The O.C (which spellchecker just suggested was a broken attempt at Ohio. If only).

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1099075435676946872004-10-29T14:21:00.000-04:002004-10-29T14:46:39.666-04:00Used the title up in the following

Yesterday I stopped by Barnes and Noble for a magazine gorging and wandered into the tail end of a Maureen Dowd booksigning. Girlfriend was rocking a silk chartreuse (exactly the color of Nicole Kidman's famous Dior Oscar dress) suit, over a purple spaghetti strapped tank top (she took the jacket off while signing books), a solid two inch pair of heels, and nude fishnets. They make nude fishnets?

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1098909846199140702004-10-27T15:46:00.000-04:002004-10-27T16:48:39.463-04:00I am boreder than you

There's a piece of black tape that looks like one of those fake plastic spiders next to my rolly chair at the office. Or at least, I think it's a piece of black tape. Last week in the staircase up to my apartment I squashed the biggest roach I've seen yet. I think he must have been sick because he was a slow mover, and I only clipped him, but he went down, without any extra wriggling. He sat in

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1098742228333613892004-10-25T16:40:00.000-04:002004-10-25T18:11:42.350-04:00And because he stepped to JT

Usher is an enormous, enormous douche face. Driving home from Richmond and hearing "Confessions: Part II" on the radio I was overwhelmed with complete and total disgust, a sentiment that began simmering months ago, when I first heard that song. Let's recap the story of "Confessions: Part II," which is ostensibly true. Usher's "chick on the side" calls him up and tells him "she's got one on the

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1098288630915311992004-10-20T13:06:00.000-04:002004-10-20T12:11:42.446-04:00And they'll smoke a J with Jay

Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes are going to guest star in the last three episodes of this season's Degrassi. Smith obviously needs the credibility boost more than Degrassi does.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1098224581301211802004-10-19T17:38:00.000-04:002004-10-19T18:23:22.766-04:00Nervous laughter

I saw The Office Special yesterday at the Museum of Television and Radio. Before it started, they put the lights down and aired this promo for the museum with Candace Bergin. The promo must have been about 15 years old, because she looked about 15 years younger than she did in Ms. Congeniality. I hate it when they don't change promos. After a dozen times, the cell-phone talker getting hurled at

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1098221583614884562004-10-19T17:15:00.000-04:002004-10-19T17:33:03.616-04:00I just blew my nose.

My snot's been yellow lately. Maybe that's gross to some, but it's fun to me. Lookie! My body got attacked by microscopic bacteria, it killed them, and left their little yellow casings to be disposed of by nose. Less fun is it that it is now really, really thick. Viscous. It's all just sitting in my nostrils with an ublech consistency. When I blow my nose, it just sludges out, and I have to do

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1097703842338066272004-10-13T17:25:00.000-04:002004-10-13T17:44:02.340-04:00Not gainfully employed

So while I was doing this, every couple of minutes I would take stock and wish, wish I had something better to do, or I could stop myself even without something better to do. But then, after I, uh, "crunched" the numbers I realized I should be expending my energies trying to get on an MTV reality show. $50,000 for 6 weeks of hanging out in a tropical locale!? Sign my ass up. I theorized, a while

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1097271957962091062004-10-08T17:31:00.000-04:002004-10-08T17:48:17.273-04:00Next week: Veronica's total winnings

Finally found the time to do some important research. Veronica of Road Rules Semester at Sea has now been on 6 of the 9 RR/RW challenges (10 if you count Road Rules All-Stars). She has been on two more specials than any other cast member. Her involvement began in season 3, back in '98, and then picked up again in season 5, the Battle of the Seasons, for all the following series (Battle of the

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1097265374370346282004-10-08T15:49:00.000-04:002004-10-08T15:56:14.370-04:00Muck-a-muck

I was trying to figure out where the term "Indian Summer" comes from (they have no idea) and came across this. I especially like "In Like Flynn", or thinking that "A Night in Paris" could be similarly ubiquitous and unknown in 50 years.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1097261220660055532004-10-08T14:46:00.000-04:002004-10-08T14:47:00.660-04:00No Buzz

Least promoted reunion special ever?

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1097250940741758812004-10-08T11:12:00.000-04:002004-10-08T11:58:40.113-04:00This election will make one half of the nation spiritual Red Sox fans

When Michelle Kwan was competing in the last winter Olympics I spent the duration of both her short and long routines running around the living room in circles humming to myself, so I wouldn't hear or see anything. I wanted her to win. Not so much because I love figure skating, or even, love Michelle Kwan, but because I have enormous, deep reservoirs of compassion for overdogs who can not get the

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1096568312581034732004-09-30T14:00:00.000-04:002004-09-30T14:18:32.580-04:00Preliminary evidence indicates this is true for all SAT words

So yesterday I googled "comestible" because I only kind of knew what it meant, and the second find was from a dictionary. This got me thinking that there must be lots of words, most words even, that turn up a definition first on google. Like, countenance, which was a vocabulary word when I read Great Expectations in 9th grade. And soporific, rapacity.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1096341711738963342004-09-27T23:16:00.000-04:002004-09-29T14:33:48.666-04:00Why does he say "I Love You" with his whole tongue?

So I understand this review a little better now. Only because Laguna Beach totally did a number on me too. I think I watched the entire episode with my mouth hanging open. You can take it one of two ways: scripted television dramas set in California and/ or about very rich, good-looking teenagers are incredibly accurate, or very rich, good looking kids now model their lives on such television

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1096320793415803002004-09-27T17:29:00.000-04:002004-09-27T17:33:13.416-04:00Pynchon readies for Charmed

Norman Mailer is going to be on The Gilmore Girls. This is kind of a mind-fuck.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1096309848040348542004-09-27T14:15:00.000-04:002004-09-27T14:34:40.933-04:00Quoting made-up quotes from made-up websites

According to Metro, contact-music.com quoted Britney Spears saying the following about Kevin Federline: "I am very annoyed with some reports speculating such rubbish that I had to pay for the wedding myself and that I even had to buy my own ring." Note to British tabloids, and websites running rumors from British tabloids, and free New York dailies running gossip from websites from tabloids,

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1095890814949969472004-09-22T17:39:00.000-04:002004-09-30T14:00:24.733-04:00TV punditry #2

Oh the Real World. You continue to astound. I dislike every single cast-member that's been on that show since New Orleans (Oh, don't come at me with the exceptions; there's no one but Jaquese. If you say Brad... well, just don't say Brad) and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. My enjoyment of this show is totally unaffected by whether the roomies are douches or not. Sure, it's a vaguely

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1095874748516422402004-09-22T13:31:00.000-04:002004-09-22T13:43:58.013-04:00TV punditry #1

I've spent more time watching TV in the past 2 weeks than I have the entire year. I like to pretend this binge is motivated by a scientific impulse to sample the new fall season, but I found myself watching a nameless romantic comedy starring Bon Jovi on WE 'till 2am, only to watch it again (I'd missed the beginning!) the next day at noon. So, I'm thinking it’s not for science and sampling, but

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1093987362109567042004-08-31T17:20:00.000-04:002004-08-31T17:25:00.263-04:00First the whole purple fiasco

Is nothing sacred? If I wanted a candy bar I already had dozens of choices.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1093891118668415302004-08-30T14:25:00.000-04:002004-08-30T14:40:41.940-04:00Guess who's back?

This (scroll down to North Shore Returns) is kind of old news, but I couldn't be happier about it. Back on TV and as a complete and total bitch-face. Woo-hoo! This is obviously very similar to Heather Locklear's arrival at Melrose Place, but then, when I was in seventh grade, I had no idea who Heather Locklear was or why it was exciting she had joined the cast. I just wanted her to stop breaking

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1093840031129456062004-08-29T23:48:00.000-04:002004-08-30T13:05:40.896-04:00The end of an error

I’m over stimulated. It's been a really long day: euphoric and nervous and long and hot and exciting and now exhausted and sunburned. The Times already changed their march headline three times, most recently from, something like "Hundreds of thousands protest GWB" to "Vast Anti-Bush Rally Greets Republicans in New York," because everyone is scared of numbers. Well, there were hundreds of

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1093027698986574982004-08-20T14:48:00.000-04:002004-08-20T14:48:18.986-04:00You Gold Girl!

I swear, as much as I hate the Post, their headlines make me laugh. Thoughts on Carly Patterson: someone, somewhere in America really, truly loves that girl but it ain't me. She really is the next Mary Lou Retton, another high-pitched linebacker I don't care about. She was obviously born to go on a box of wheaties, but she's so middle American, in her "I Heart Glitter," have overly tweezed

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1092952838801169252004-08-19T17:44:00.000-04:002004-08-19T18:00:38.800-04:00Carly Patterson = Tara Lipinski?

I've been watching the Olympics fanatically, or as fanatically as one can watch them when one doesn't have a television. And as fanatically as one can watch them on someone else's television when one already knows the outcome of events because of fanatically checking the New York Times for updates. But, for all that, still pretty fanatically. I didn't, by coincidence, know the outcome of the

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1092256221730549962004-08-11T15:36:00.000-04:002004-08-11T16:30:21.730-04:00Get on with the show

This latest chapter in the United for Peace and Justice/ Central Park/ Bloomberg saga makes me insane. Could it make the protest movement look any worse to say, paraphrasing Leslie Cagan, UPJ's national coordinator, "many people, including representatives from other groups, vowed not to attend the rally if it were held at the highway." Are we protesting because it's easy? Because it's on a nice

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1092252865121305142004-08-11T15:31:00.000-04:002004-08-11T15:34:25.120-04:00Whales can jump?

My snaple cap "Real Fact" #46 is "Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump." This made me think about Hippopotami and Rhinoceroses jumping. Silly.

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6091912.post-1091758828286527372004-08-05T22:07:00.000-04:002004-08-05T22:20:28.286-04:00The French Connection is shelved under foreign

I just tried to rent Speed at Blockbuster and they didn't have it. Your probably thinking, "Why would anyone want to see Speed?" making you like the guy behind the counter, who asked me the same thing. The correct answer to that question, by the way, is "Because that movie is great." Yes, it is. Even if you disagree, it should still be carried in Blockbuster. It's not an arty movie. It's not a

Willabeastnoreply@blogger.com1