Preliminary evidence indicates this is true for all SAT words

So yesterday I googled "comestible" because I only kind of knew what it meant, and the second find was from a dictionary. This got me thinking that there must be lots of words, most words even, that turn up a definition first on google. Like, countenance, which was a vocabulary word when I read Great Expectations in 9th grade. And soporific, rapacity.

Why does he say "I Love You" with his whole tongue?

So I understand this review a little better now. Only because Laguna Beach totally did a number on me too. I think I watched the entire episode with my mouth hanging open. You can take it one of two ways: scripted television dramas set in California and/ or about very rich, good-looking teenagers are incredibly accurate, or very rich, good looking kids now model their lives on such television shows so successfully that the two have become indistinguishable. Like, Stephen works in a surf shop. A surf shop people. The only 18 year old in The O.C. with a day job has made it on TV to justify all of Brandon Walsh's hard labor at the Peach Pit.
Except for the sound quality, it might as well be a scripted television show. I guess I'm not that surprised you can edit a show down into a straightforward narrative with punch lines, it's obviously been done before. I’m just not sure it’s been done in this way: the intent here isn't to make an addictive "reality show" it's to make an addictive soap opera that, incidentally, is culled from "reality."
Some of the ways Laguna Beach is like a regular TV show, as opposed to RTV show:
Lauren's voice over at the beginning, makes the whole season a flashback. This is totally different than the usual "What unpredictable thing will happen next?" tack most RTV takes.
There’s a storyline, and it’s going to last longer than an episode.
RTV is marketed as being watchable for a unique reason: watch this because you've never seen 20 people on a desert island, because you've never seen girls try to be models, because you've never seen an aging, addled rock star interact with his family. But we're supposed to watch Laguna Beach for no good reason except that it’s about young, rich, seniors in high school. Or for the same reason you watch regular TV shows.
That’s not a bad thing really, or a good thing either. It’s just a thing. All it means is there’s even less of a distinction between RTV and scripted shows than there was before.
In closing, what's your name? Lauren or "LC"? How come the second name is in quotes? Are you not, like, the real "LC"? Whatever, I already hope Kristen wins.

Pynchon readies for Charmed

Norman Mailer is going to be on The Gilmore Girls. This is kind of a mind-fuck.

Quoting made-up quotes from made-up websites

According to Metro, contact-music.com quoted Britney Spears saying the following about Kevin Federline: "I am very annoyed with some reports speculating such rubbish that I had to pay for the wedding myself and that I even had to buy my own ring."
Note to British tabloids, and websites running rumors from British tabloids, and free New York dailies running gossip from websites from tabloids, Americans do not say rubbish. Britney Spears in particular does not say rubbish. Nor does she say speculating. Nor does she string together sentences longer than six words. (That's really what's so unsatisfying about watching or reading her interviews. Even when speaks for 30 seconds the only thing she ever says is "I'm just doing my thing. It's cool. I just do my thing. I don't care. I just do my thing. Baby. Do my thing").

TV punditry #2

Oh the Real World. You continue to astound. I dislike every single cast-member that's been on that show since New Orleans (Oh, don't come at me with the exceptions; there's no one but Jaquese. If you say Brad... well, just don't say Brad) and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. My enjoyment of this show is totally unaffected by whether the roomies are douches or not. Sure, it's a vaguely different kind of enjoyment now- with the Seattle cast you sat around thinking you could hang out with these people, and now you sit around thanking God you're not hanging out with those people- but the show's still addictively watchable, though perhaps in a shallower way. And Philtydelphia is providing much good badness because of
1) Sarah. She crystallizes a long developing Real World archetype: the "sexually liberated" girl with fake boobs who is constantly telling us how secure, confident, and horny she is, though it's obvious to pencils and protractors she's an insecure disaster (who, in this case, was bulimic six months before the show began. I can't imagine a psychiatrist or doctor not already on staff for The Swan advising a turn on The Real World as a healthy next step). But Sarah's better than the girls that came before (Trishelle, Robin, Kara) because except for the usual tells- the eating disorder, the shopping, the flaunting of the fake boobies- there's no concrete evidence that she isn't the gutsy, emotionally incontinent, whore she says she is.
Sure, it's only the third episode and there's plenty of time left for her to cry because she wants more from MJ, but for now her game is so shameless, so on point, so apparently unaffected by any feelings beyond lust and jealousy that all you can do is be impressed. When she tells MJ, "You're really missing out. And you know it. You KNOW it," and somehow pulls him into a make out session... well, it's not just that she knows no shame, it's that she feels no shame, and that's something new.
2) Karamo. I had no idea. None of the multitude of homosexuals I spend too much time with had any idea. He's, like, expanding my conception of homosexuality. And I really didn't think The Real World was going to expand my conception of anything, ever.

Episode 4: So Sarah cried, because Shavonda had a hard life, and I still like her. I thought it was nice of her. Uh oh.
And, I just didn't think they made white people like MJ anymore. Wishful thinking I guess.

TV punditry #1

I've spent more time watching TV in the past 2 weeks than I have the entire year. I like to pretend this binge is motivated by a scientific impulse to sample the new fall season, but I found myself watching a nameless romantic comedy starring Bon Jovi on WE 'till 2am, only to watch it again (I'd missed the beginning!) the next day at noon. So, I'm thinking it’s not for science and sampling, but more about pretty, moving, color pictures. This, thank God, does not preclude opinion making.

Jack and Bobby
I was excited about this show, or rather, I was excited by the premise, but after catching the second episode I realized it sucks. For the following reasons:
1) Some reviewer (EW, Variety?) mentioned he was sick of watching snotty kids yell at their parents, and he didn't want Jack mouthing off at Christine Lahti like that. Dumbness. Lahti's mom isn't towing the line between good and bad mom, she's a "how'd you raise semi-functional kids? you boundary lacking, not fit to call yourself a mom" mom. Also, she wouldn't have kids. She'd have chunky jewelry and exotic objects in the bathroom (totem poles) and a second husband. I hate bad moms.
I especially hate bad moms on TV when it leads to 2) TV youth burdened before its time. Jack is 16, not 30. Bobby has a mom, not just a brother. Only on a TV show could the big bro and mom get together and decide that the brother should be primarily responsible for raising the little one. Ugh. All it leads to is melodrama and mopiness.
3) The stupid, stupid flash forwards. Everyone in them is ugly. And I don't want to know. I don't want to know Jack dies. I don't want to know Courtney gets with Bobby. Creeps. It casts a shadow over the whole enterprise. I like to imagine my TV characters riding of into the sunset, happy forever and ever. In a way this is similar to the Smallville dilemma (which, is btwubs only watchable on mute) where you know Clark ends up with Lois, not Lana, so you can't invest in their, uh, "love" in a whole-hearted way. The difference is, you know Clark ends up happy, with Lois, and you know Jack ends up unhappy, because, that's right, he's DEAD.
4) An Independent? Grow some damn balls people. Tell me, in the world of the WB what is a Republican who is "less than conservative on the issues," as we are told Bobby is before he runs for president as an independent? Does such a Republican oppose gay marriage? Does such a Republican oppose abortion? Does such a Republican oppose welfare and universal healthcare and cutting back military spending and nuclear weapons? Does such a Republican even go to church? No. No, he does not. Because such a Republican is a liberal in every regard except a) he opposes Marijuana (that mom of his) and b) he isn't called a liberal because someone at the network thought that might put off all the 14 year old Republican girls watching the show. Trust me, Jack is hot, they don't care.
It's actually realistic character development that the boys might rebel against their loony mom by championing a different ideology, especially if Benedict, the Republican next door, becomes someone they can count on. Except, wait, how could they possibly champion a different ideology, all those things just mentioned, and still be loveable? There's some disconnect here between the character's arc and what the creators of the show presumably believe (Greg Berlanti, the creator, is a gay man). Who knows though: I'll certainly start watching this show fanatically if it ends up proselytizing a compassionate conservatism of sorts, if only because that'd be so damn unexpected. More likely, the “clips from the future” will inform us that in 2041 Republicans are just like 2004 Democrats, except, you know, actually liberal.