Her name was Lola

There are show girls in the building. Seriously, there are two women here promoting Casino and Gaming TV, a cable net, decked out in full-body, bright pink, Vegas show girl outfits, complete with fishnets, feathers, and cleavage. In the swag bags they're handing out are a pair of big dice, fake eyelashes, fire-engine red lipstick, a glass, a t-shirt, some bizarre fluid called shoe stretch, shoe insoles, and a doll even more anthropomorphically incorrect than Barbie. Plus, fake, plastic pieces of ice. What company makes those? And why are shoes so important for gambling?
Most excitingly, I got the biggest, fakest diamond ring you've ever seen. It's so big and fake that it's hollow. It's so big and fake and hollow that you could fit a very fat bumble bee or 10 quarters or G.I. Joe's head inside of it easily. It interferes with picking up the phone.
In other news, Michiko Kakutani has no soul. Oskar rocks.