I am boreder than you

There's a piece of black tape that looks like one of those fake plastic spiders next to my rolly chair at the office. Or at least, I think it's a piece of black tape. Last week in the staircase up to my apartment I squashed the biggest roach I've seen yet. I think he must have been sick because he was a slow mover, and I only clipped him, but he went down, without any extra wriggling. He sat in the corner of the stairs for the next couple days. I was hoping/dreading it would stay long enough to start decomposing, and I could track the phases, but then it got cleaned away.
Why are you allowed to read magazines at work, but not books?
I've started consuming vast quantities of food for lunch. Not even because I get so hungry, but because around 11:30 it just seems like it's time to start eating. Today: A pack of carrots, apple, coffee yogurt, cinnamon raisin bread. That doesn't seem like so much. And The N sent free chocolate in a press box, called "Moose Dropping," that I can't stay away from. I really hate it when people joke about chocolate and poop. Other people eating poop, kind of funny, me eating poop, not funny at all. Yesterday I had carrots, apple, left over rice and stir fry, and a Twix that sent my head into paroxysms. Again, doesn't seem so much. Maybe it’s because I spread it out over a couple of hours. Or maybe it's because at this point I eat, like, spinach for dinner. A whole head, but just spinach. None of that meat, green, and a starch group are a meal thing.
My next door neighbor is named Rhiannon. Her name is on the buzzer and I'd already talked to someone about whether she was named after the song. I didn't ask her yesterday because, really, she must get it All The Time, but I still want to know. Especially what kind of parents name their kid after a Fleetwood Mac song. I really like Fleetwood Mac, I went through a serious Rumors stage, but I don't know about Fleetwood Mac fans. Though, mebbe they just liked the sound of it.
I'm reading Scoop right now, and it confirms the fact that hysterical and funny are the most widely misused words in book reviews. If a book has been called hysterical, hilarious, laugh out loud funny (see Confederacy of Dunces, Lucky Jim, Lorrie Moore short stories) what that really means is your brain might recognize that X incident has some elements of farce or theoretical humor, or Y language contains a pun, but you will not actually laugh. Not to completely discount this other literary kind of humor (Pride and Prejudice is a "comedy of manners" I love, but not because it makes me laugh- though it does make me giggle lots, but that's for girlish reasons), I just wish they wouldn't use words like hysterical, entirely misleading, to describe it. The funniest books I've ever read, that made me laugh out loud the whole way through, were Bridget Jones' Diaries 1 and 2. I choose to believe this just means those books are really, really funny.