Monday, March 01, 2004

I think Kucinich did it.

Place: Macdougal Street between Bleeker and West 3rd, New York City.
Time: 4 O’clock in the afternoon
Characters: A 30ish John Kerry Supporter. Tall and skinny, graying hair, black jeans, khaki jacket. Holding six or so rumpled John Kerry posters.
24ish John Edwards supporter. Brown hair parted on the side, slacks, blue button down shirt, and red tie. Knee length trench coat. Looks like what smarmy politicians think voters imagine when they imagine an honest politician. Not to editorialize too much, but he looks like a total tool.

The two men walk past each other and exchange some unheard words. They begin to scream as the entire street turns to stare

Kerry Supporter: But I know your people are putting the posters in the trash!
Edwards the Tool: I don’t know where you’re getting your information from, but it just isn’t true!
K: Your staff is totally out of control! You’re playing dirty and you’re trying to sabotage us!
ET: I talk to a staffer on the Kerry campaign every morning! I’m sorry that happened, but we are not responsible. Things happen.
K: Yeah, when you tear posters down and put them in the trash! It’d be one thing if they were Bush posters
ET: Look, who knows? All I know is we didn’t do it! (K starts to walk away towards his van as ET follows him into the street)
ET: What’s your name?! What’s your name?! (K turns back and gets very close to ET)
K: Why should it matter? You’re the ones who are playing dirty!
ET: Hundreds of people walk up and down this street everyday! Anything could have happened to them. I have no idea what happened to them.
JK: Yes you do! And don’t try to pin it on the Kucinich campaign!
ET: I can’t control what everyone does. All I know is that my people were not told by me or by anyone else involved with the campaign to take down posters. If people take it on themselves, there’s nothing we can do about it.
K: It’s just not nice! (walks back to his car)
ET: What’s your evidence?
K: (voice is cracking with anger, as he runs back to ET) MY PEOPLE SAW YOUR PEOPLE DO IT. THAT’S CALLED EVIDENCE
ET: That’s just not possible, because we didn’t do it! How dare you accuse us of something like this?
K: “BECAUSE YOU DID IT!” (gets in his van and drives off)

Thank you gentleman, for making me proud to be a member of the Democratic party.

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